Dating Techniques That Women WANT You to Know... But don't want to have to TELL you about....
[Women-speak: read my mind or lose me forever!]

Questions and Answers From The Double Your Dating Newsletter


David, you are absolutely the MAN!

Everything you say is right on the button, even the stuff that is harder to accept and work into the routine. My biggest struggle has been that I can always use the C&F routine great at first, but the more we talk, the less I use it, and I start to revert back to my old self. That's right when she starts to turn colder. Last night was great though, because I kept busting this girl's balls all night long. Here's the story:

I've recently started talking on line to an ex that I dated for over a year and a half, and broke up with just more than a year ago. I finally convinced her to make the hour-and-a-half drive to come up and visit me, last night. When she got here, before even saying hello, I busted on her for taking so long to get to my apartment, and just kept turning the heat up all night- I figured that I probably won't see her for a while again, so I've got nothing to lose.

I continued to make fun of her and pick on her all night. We made potato soup for dinner, and when I was peeling the potatoes I started flicking the skins at her. She started throwing them back, and I made her pick up all the mess, and blamed it all on her.

I've got a cat and she has a dog- as soon as I mentioned how smart my cat is, she said her dog was smarter, because he could roll over, stand up, and sit at command, and my cat couldn't. I asked her if she would do those things if I told her to, so when she said "no" I asked her if that meant that she was also stupider than her dog is.

From that point on, all night she had a look on her face of utter amazement and confusion- it was as if I could actually hear her thinking, "I can't believe that I've lost all the control- but somehow, inexplicably, I love it!" (When she and I were dating, she had ALL the control.)

Later she took off her rings and handed them to me while she put lotion on- I refused to give them back to her for the better part of an hour. I hid the rings in by back pocket, and finally told her that she couldn't have them unless she could find where I'd hid them- when she finally got to my back pocket, I smacked her hand and told her not to touch my ass- I wasn't her plaything to violate like that.

Eventually she started whining to get her way (that ALWAYS worked when we were together), so I started talking to her like you would a 2-year-old, calling her a poor baby that's just not going to survive, is she? She asked me if I was patronizing her, and I gave her a great big hug and in an even more patronizing tone said, "No, of course not- I would NEVER patronize YOU!" She absolutely ate it up.

She had been begging me all night for one of my massages- she claims I give the best ones in the world. So finally at the end of the night, I told her that I would be willing to give her one. Her back massage quickly turned into a full body massage- I mean full body.

All night I had gotten closer and closer to kissing her, without actually doing so- I did the whole thing with brushing my lips against hers, and all. At the end of the night, I finally let her kiss me on my terms, and MAN did she dig in.

It was great. In one night, I turned a girl that had broken up with me for being a doormat wussy into a girl that absolutely cannot get enough of me and wants me back like none other.

She brought up a friend, and she and my roommate entertained each other and were witness to the evening. Even the two of them couldn't believe how absolutely in control of her I was, and how much she was loving it. Throughout the night, her friend kept pushing me for info as to whether or not I was willing to take her back. She wants me, I'm in total control, and we both love it!

Sorry this one is so long, but I just had to tell you! Thanks for everything, David- I FINALLY GET IT!! No matter what, just keep it up, and you'll reap the rewards. You're great! ~T. in CO


Ah, you've gotten to live the dream, man!

You got to go back and have one more night with the ex...and do all the RIGHT things instead of all the WRONG things that you did when you were with her. Everyone is jealous of you.

One thing you said was particularly interesting...
You said:
"...all night she had a look on her face of utter amazement and confusion- it was as if I could actually hear her thinking, "I can't believe that I've lost all the control-but somehow, inexplicably, I love it!"..."

As most people know, this doesn't make sense.

Why would a woman love it when you don't let her run the show, and instead act difficult and sassy with her?

The answer to that question, of course, is...


Just do it!

lol... no, I mean... the answer is that women don't feel ATTRACTION for guy that they can easily control. It just doesn't happen. Women aren't attracted to wussies.

Good job, you're the man.


First of all, I am a WOMAN, and I want to let you know that your tips to men are absolutely right on!

I read your "dating tips" email every single time I receive it, and find it extremely amusing. I can tell you right now that I know a man who is absolutely driving me crazy while ( I believe unknowingly), using your techniques.

He is NOT the greatest looking guy I know, nor is he appealing in what you might call a typical way. He is so interesting because, while I know he is interested in me, he is NOT at all obnoxious about it- not demanding, not wimpy. Just cool.

He tosses cocky comments at me, he does not HANG all over me- keeps a little distance, but always returns.

He surprises me. He is INTERESTING!!!! He sends me gifts occasionally, but not on the right day- for instance: Valentines- I get a call two days after the day- he says "o yeah, I haven't got around to it yet, but I have something for you- maybe I can stop by today and drop it off" Then he will come by when I am not even there and leave it with my secretary. Other times, he so obviously responds to something I said, (like a preference I have for some place) and acts on it LATER.

He doesn't jump on everything I say with an instant response, trying to "get" me. I don't know exactly what to expect next, and he has me mesmerized! I will add, though that he has manners, and is a gentleman- NOBODY likes an rude a**hole trying to pass for cocky and funny! Trust me, I run into guys hitting on me all the time.

The typical "in your face" stuff just makes me want to get away from them. No matter HOW he does it, a guy that is too DIRECT (either aggressively or obviously passively) gets NO CHANCE. Any man who wants to attract a decent woman and keep her attracted would do well to utilize your techniques.



I love women who always tell me that I'm right... lol.

You mentioned something that I don't bring up very often, but it's a great way to be "generous" and "thoughtful". Now, before I talk about this, keep in mind that this isn't something to do with a woman you've just met. Save this for later, after you've been out several times.

This is the kind of thing you do with a woman you REALLY like and might be interested in pursuing a relationship with...

Your quote above said:
"...Other times, he so obviously responds to something I said, (like a preference I have for some place) and acts on it LATER..."

If a woman mentions that she wants to go to a particular restaurant, make a mental note, then surprise her and go there a few weeks later. Remembering things, then acting on them later as a SURPRISE makes a huge impact. It's a very considerate thing to do. But like I said, this is something you do with a woman that you really like. Not in the beginning!


Hi Dave,
Id come straight to the point. I am 27 and came to Australia three years a ago. And yes I have the Cocky and Funny attitude.

In fact, at the place where I am working that's a hospital catering department, I have women. Eight women, though all above forty. Yet when I talk, they laugh themselves and they have told me that I am the only male that has survived.

Yes I can get any women to laugh. The first time I read your letter, I was delighted that the C&F was a basic instinct.

Ok lets move, I study at University. There at the reception, this lovely girl, liked her much. So started hanging around her, went on coffee break twice. One day she was going out for a beer with friends, so she called me.

We had a nice time and at the end she gave me a real big hug. Now at she told me earlier that she has no boyfriend. Now after a couple of days, I could not resist to tell her how much I liked her, but I could not get her out for coffee, so I recorded a ten minute message on a tape and gave it to her.

And BOOM as a nuclear bomb exploded on me. She stopped talking to me and reported me to the Dean. Well, I could not resist to meet the Dean. So before she called me I went up to her and told her I liked this girl and that is no crime. The Dean is a female and she was dumbfounded and did not have anything to tell me.

This girl has avoided me from that date. Well my question is, how does a man define that a women likes you as in love and likes you only as a human. I am confused! Second was it right to tell her through a tape or was it better to take her bombastic reaction , which I think I am lucky not to receive, in person.

Please answer.
A.K, Australia


OK, hold on to your keyboard and mouse... because I have some bad news for you...

When you "couldn't resist telling her how much you liked her" you demonstrated a very special personality trait that I like to refer to as acting like a WUSSY. This means that instead of being cool, relaxing, and seeing where things went, you were overcome with emotion and feelings for a girl you didn't even know, and you went overboard and RECORDED A 10 MINUTE TAPE for her to let her know what a Wuss you really are.

She probably enjoyed spending time with you. She may have even been interested in you in a romantic way.

But when you go and do something extreme like recording a 10 minute tape and giving it to her, it makes you look like a bizarre fan or stalker.

Bad thing. I have some more bad news for you. I'm guessing that this woman was ATTRACTIVE. I mean physically attractive. She's probably hot.

Guess what? For some strange reason, men feel compelled to tell unusually attractive women things like "I have feelings for you" or "I really, REALLY like you" or "You're special" very early on in a relationship.

And guess what?

They start to think that men are Wussies, that they must be crazy, etc., and when they meet another guy who just shares his feelings after the first date, they run for the hills.

You need to lean back. Give women room. Don't see a new woman more than once or twice a week for the first several weeks (ESPECIALLY if she's unusually attractive). Oh, and stop it with the 10 minute tapes. That's just plain bad news waiting to happen.


Hi David,
I was just wondering if you think it's a good idea to call a woman before a date to confirm or should I just show up at her doorstep and hope shes there?

A while ago I had a date with a woman and I didn't call before I left to pick her up then when I got to her house she wasn't there. Do you call before the date to confirm?
From Florida.


You know, it's been so many years since I've gone out to a woman's house and picked her up for a first date, I can't even remember.

I recommend that you DO NOT do something expensive and typical like going and picking a woman up, taking her to dinner, etc. for a first date.

Instead, either:
1) Have her come to your place, and leave for a cup of tea from there.
2) Meet her at a coffee shop that's CLOSE to your place, and if she flakes out, you can still enjoy yourself and you're not far from home.

Another rule of thumb I have is to not make a date too far in advance. I've found that often times, you can call a woman up and say "Let's go get a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW". It's rare that I would ever make plans more than a day in advance... this also helps prevent flaking.


Hey David,
Man, do I got a success story to share with you.

Anyways without really thinking about it for the past year I had teased this girl about a lot of stuff, and basically put on the impression that I didn't care whether I dated her or not. Yah I liked her, but I had dated a few other girls since I met her.

So with that said, the most awesome thing happened today.

We do a lot of training together like lift weights at our campus gym, jog between 3-5 kilometers at least 3 times a week together and do other athletic stuff together. We get along extremely well together.

Today when we were at the running track together after school, she challenged me to 200 meter race. I said sure, well lets just say she kicked the living snot out of me today. She must have had a lot of adrenaline going cause she beat me by about 5 seconds which is A LOT in that kind of a race.

So as we walked back to the school she started making fun of me like crazy, saying haha you got beat by a girl, I hammered you and basically every other insult she could think of. I just smiled at her and didn't let her know that she beat me fair and square.

When we got back into school, it wasn't that busy. As we walked down the hallway, I said "you know, I let you win". She shot back with "No you didn't I beat you fair and square". To this I replied "If I was really trying you couldn't beat me on your best day".

This upset her a little cause she is so competitive. So she said "Your just ashamed cause you got beat by a girl". To this I answered "Oh no kidding, your a girl. WOW all this time we were training together I could have sworn you were a boy"

Then things heated up a little, and she smoked me with a punch right on my right arm. When she did that I just smiled at her and said "You just did that cause you like me".

"Oh shut up" she said in a funny sarcastic tone. "Hope it didnt hurt wuss boy" she said right after that. I had never heard her talk like that before, but from your teachings I knew that what was going on was extreme flirting. Then I decided to heat the fire even more so I said "I dare you to hit me again".
By this time, although I hadnt realized it, we were at a complete stop nearly right up against a locker.

So she hit me again, just like I dared her to. But it wasnt a hard hit, it was just enough to connect with my shoulder at. So I kind of grabbed her arm and looked at her in the eyes sharply. Then suddenly we both went in to kiss each other at the same time. (This was our first kiss).

She kissed me so hard, intensely and so passionately that I thought her lips were going to fall off. She almost seemed like she was quaking and shivering as she made out with me madly against the locker. Thank God no one was around at that time, they may have been burned in the heat.

I have kissed a few girls in my life, but NONE had kissed me that intensely. After the fire went out, we both went to our RESPECTIVE locker rooms and changed into our regular clothes.

After we both changed we were walking down the hallway again and she asked me if I wanted to eat dinner in the food court with her, I said I couldnt cause I had to go study for midterms. (This was the truth actually, I did have to study, but it probably also did WONDERS for me in the challenge category.)

Before we parted ways for the day, she took my hands and gazed up into my eyes and said "Do you have any idea what I have been feeling these past few months". I decided to keep my composure, so I just said "Yah", and I pulled her toward me and we kissed again.

It was amazing like something out of a movie, I couldn't believe it happened. I have found something great, and I won't screw it up, because I am to smart to screw it up, thanks largely to your teachings and my own inner confidence.

Thanks man


I wish you could see the smile on my face right now. It's one of those big, fake looking, won't-go-away smiles, too. I'm even shaking my head a little.

I LOVE to read stories like this one. And it's so great to hear how you handled everything. I wish that this story was a fable that all boys had to learn as children... and know by heart before they were allowed to talk to girls!

[NOTE: If you're reading this right now, and you don't get what happened, print this out, and read it every day until you do... it's that good.]

Thanks for writing in.


Hey Dave,

great stuff! it really works, yada, yada. let me make this short and sweet. one of the things that really works for me is whenever a girl says "sorry", i immediately say, "you should be." no matter what the situation is. it's a great conversation starter for me. for example, i live on the 6th floor and this girl only lives on the 2nd floor, so when she saw me press the button for 6th floor, she said sorry. i then said, automatically, "you should be. u know, u should really try using the stairs once in a while. u could use the exercise." now mind you, this girl has a great body. so anyway, got the info, and it's been going good.

now on to my question. spring break is almost here, and i'm going away to cancun. now this girl that i have a thing with - her b-day is in the middle of spring break. now she keeps bugging me, telling me she better get a phone call from cancun, or she's gonna be mad. i keep telling her, "do u really expect me to remember, when i'm gonna be drunk off my ass?" that's just the plain truth. now i'm thinking if, and it's a big if, if i actually remember her b-day, i'm actually thinking of purposely not calling her, just 'cuz she keeps bugging me about it. any thoughts? especially on the aftermath -- if she starts acting all bratty? let's say she calls me the day after her b-day and starts giving me s**t, and i'm still gonna be down in cancun?

thanx for helping out all the guys who need it.
sa from jersey

Reply: so you get to ask me a question, and you want to know if you should call a girl from Cancun on her Bday?

OK, well here goes.
If I were you, I'd buy one of those cheap calling cards that lasts 3 minutes from Cancun, and call her at Midnight (at the end of the day) of her Bday.

Call her on a number that she probably won't answer, and leave her a message saying "Happy Birthday. It's nice to see that you were waiting for my call... after I go to all the trouble to call you from another country. OK, you suck. Bye!"

Of course, say it in a sarcastic, serious-playful tone. That should do the trick, my man.

And I love the "I'm sorry" comeback line of "You should be". I actually use that line myself. I also say: "I don't want you to be sorry. Just don't do it again!"



Your advice (ebook, cd's, newsletter) have helped get this 30 something guy back into the game after a long marriage and painful divorce and I really can't tell you how much I appreciate it. My interactions with women have moved slowly from being awkward and self-conscience to more fluid and fun. I actually look forward to meeting new women and instead of being afraid.

Your recent newsletter really made me think about a mistake I just made today and wasn't able to identify until I read it from you. I was getting boring!! Now, you have to cut me a break because I was basking in the sweaty afterglow of some of the best afternoon sex I ever had in my life with this hot and wild vixen and the blood had not yet fully returned to my brain.

But she really caught me with my pants down (literally and figuratively). While we are laying around naked on the hotel bed (which she paid for) she started to really grill me, without me being aware of it. I got all the questions that I had been good at putting off in a funny way previously. Within minutes, it seemed she had me talking about my ex-wife, my kids, my job, my family... all the stuff I had been funny about avoiding to some extent to keep the mystery alive.

Jees, when I got back to work and read your newsletter I realized that all the hard work I had done was messed up and now she got all that info in a flash. I feel I kinda blew it with her. She is out of town for a week now and I am not sure how to react.

I had told her I would see her when she gets back, but now I wonder if I should do some damage control and call her. Is it OK to just go back to the cocky and funny after a slip like this and just act like I didn't notice my slip? Or should I give her a hard time about grilling me when my defenses were down?

Believe me, I am happy to have been in the position I was, but not happy to have lost my "game" in the afterglow. Is this moment of weakness common? Any help is appreciated.


lol... you're cracking me up over here.

I know that I'm laughing at your expense... but hey, it's better than laughing at MY expense... lol. I'm actually not laughing at YOU, I'm laughing at your situation. Very typical, actually. Women test men. We all know that.

But it's so easy to FORGET this fact, and not realize that it's happening when it is.

Remember, a woman wants to feel secure that you're not just "pretending" to be a cool, calm, cocky, funny, in-control guy. This is why you'll get tested in many, many ways... at many different times.

You will probably be fine.

Just go back to being a MAN, and stop asking questions like "Should I give her a hard time about grilling me when my defenses were down".

That's Wuss talk.

If you've done enough of the RIGHT things, you can slip a few times and do a few wrong things. Just don't make a habit of it, because she'll be gone in a flash. And by the way, DON'T BE BORING! It is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.


Hey David

I'll defer to your infinite wisdom on the subject of a threesome. I'm in my early 30's and currently rehearsing a play at my apartment with two actresses in their 20's. We have a great time, I pop open some vino and we all get very loose while going over the lines. I'm good-looking, successful and naturally cocky and funny (not bragging just giving you the info). These girls are extremely playful but what's the best way to get things going?

Help me I'm running out of rehearsals. Thanks from a disciple.


OK, now you've done it. You're starting to ask one of those "All men will hate you and wish you would get a huge boil on your nose questions". But I have to allow it, because it's so damn juicy. Two actresses? Mid 20s? Playful? Vino? Here's what I'd do if I were you... I'd suggest a game of "Truth or dare" during vino. Truth: "Have you ever kissed a woman?"

Dare: "Do it." You didn't hear that from me... I know nothing.


dear dating guro,

i have newn this chick for 3 months and every time i ask her out she says she dosen't know me well enough. do u have any sure fire ways to get her.


I have no "sure fire" ways, but I have a couple of ideas:
1) Learn how to spell "known" and "guru".
2) Get my eBook.
Sounds like you need a little more help than I can give you in a paragraph.

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