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“This
is awesome! It worked. I went to the beach yesterday, and I got 2 e-mails
and phone#’s...”
“I
am having a blast being single for the first time since high school and
early college. You da man ...”
“I'm
meeting more women and getting phone numbers, email addresses and dates.
Thanks!”
|
 How
To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out
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newsletter
written
by David DeAngelo
Continued from page 1
I mean, it's bad enough
to keep having a particular problem and not figure out how to solve
it... but the idea that the solution is in doing something you would
never think of is a little bit maddening. In other words, I think that
this is all about understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING it
from coming up... rather than trying to "solve it" in the moment.
Let me put it this way...
If you're dialing the phone, and you're starting to feel nervous, then
it's already too late to solve the problem. No quick fix will help you.
Or if you're on the phone with her and you have just asked her out on a
date, and she says "Um, let me call you back in a few days and tell
you"... and you start to get that sinking feeling because you know she's
blowing you off... IT'S TOO LATE.
There's no "magic pill" at this point. The answer is PREVENTION.
THE MAGIC FORMULA
So let's take a few minutes and talk about the issues and what CAUSES
them. Here are some of the "root causes", and how I see them...
1) Having no other
options.
If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone number in your hand, and
you haven't been out on a date in a long time, and you are feeling
DESPERATE, you're probably going to get VERY nervous. When you have no
other options, the single one in front of you becomes VERY valuable.
Translation: You want it TOO badly.
This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system, because at some level
you realize that if you screw this up, it's all over. And you know that
it's all going to happen in just a few SECONDS. The pressure is too
much!
2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.
Now, if you have a girl that you've been dating for six months, and
you've decided that she's one in a million, it makes sense to put a lot
of importance on your relationship with her. But if you don't know a
girl very well, or you haven't even dated her at all, then you are only
setting yourself up for major disappointment by putting too much
importance on ANY girl.
3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.
This is a HUGE issue. Most men "unconsciously" behave and communicate
like they're trying to IMPRESS the woman of their desires. When you
think about this, it only makes sense... of course you'd want to impress
the woman you like... so she'll think you're a cool guy and want to be
with you.
But have you ever thought for a moment how an interesting, attractive
woman sees it when a guy is TRYING to IMPRESS her?
Well, here's the INSTANT and UNCONSCIOUS response that women have:
"He's trying to hard. There's something wrong. This guy must have
something he's trying to hide... and he must be pretty insecure."
In other words, the INSTANT you do something or say something that is an
obvious attempt at impressing a woman, her radar system screams:
"WUSSY!"
4) Having expectations and being attached to them.
You might think of this one as a variation of "wanting it too much"...
only slightly different. When you start getting your hopes and
expectations up, you begin to get ATTACHED to them. Then you run the
risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to your little fantasy.
Bad idea.
Women don't guys who assume too much, act too comfortable, or fall for
them too quickly. Remember, attractive women have guys falling for them
left and right.
In fact, they almost EXPECT guys to go out on one or two dates with
them, then say "You know, I really like you..." and other equally
predictable sentiments. Just like being desperate can destroy your
chances with a woman, liking a woman too much, too fast, and creating
expectations leads to crazy, stupid mistakes as well.
Now, think over what I just said...
I'm basically saying that if you want to cure the problem of freaking
out when you call women to ask them out, and the problem of screwing it
up when you have that first conversation and ask them out the first
time, then you have to go INSIDE first... and do some preventative
maintenance on yourself.
And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is not only good for you, it also
helps you get even MORE dates with interesting women. So here's what to
do about this particular problem:
1) Get more options.
If you go out one evening with a couple of friends, and you meet a
REALLY hot girl... and you wind up having a fun conversation, and
getting her number, what should you do? RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE
girl's number. More, if you can.
This way, when you're picking up the phone to call (or sending out
emails, or whatever), you've got another woman to call right after
her...
In other words, if it doesn't go well, no big deal. No sweat at all.
Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this one situation, go get more
options... this will prevent many problems, as well as giving you more
women to date!
And think about it... when are you MOST likely to get a woman's phone
number? When are you the most likely to be in a great mood that actually
ATTRACTS women? Exactly... in the moments after you've already gotten
another woman's number. So take advantage of this time!
2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work out with this girl.
I have news for you: Most women have something about their personality,
behavior, future plans, etc. that is going to disqualify them from being
good "potential mates" for you. Now, I'm not saying that "all women are
screwed up", etc. What I AM saying is that you need to realize that the
only reason you're freaking out so much is because your EMOTIONS are
running the show.
You need to think about how rare it is that you actually meet a girl
that is COMPATIBLE with you... that you'd enjoy spending time with even
if she wasn't good-looking. If you have this in mind as you're dialing
the phone, you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibe going on.
You won't be talking like a guy who has a gun to his head, either...
which is a good thing... because women get weirded-out by this kind of
thing.
3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her what you're doing, and
then tell her she can come along if she wants.
Why is "asking a woman out" early on a bad idea? Because if you don't
have a world-class understanding of male/female dynamics, you're going
to come across as a guy who is trying to use food as date-bait. In other
words, if the first thing out of your mouth is "I'd like to take you out
to dinner" it's going to be interpreted as "I don't think you're
probably going to accept an invitation to spend time with me unless I
throw in something extra...".
Weak.
And that's how SHE sees it.
The alternative? Tell her that you're going to be doing something, and
that she should join you. "Hey, I'm going to go down to Starbucks and
get a cup of tea. You should join me. I'm way more fun than whatever
else you were going to do... and that's a fact!"
Extra bonus points:
Hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept immediately. If she
hems and haws, or hesitates... just interrupt and say "Hey, you're the
one who's missing out".
I also like "You know, never mind. I guess you don't like to have
fun...".
Great stuff!
This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it's the right time to use
it.
You know, I personally used to get VERY freaked out when calling women
for the first time on the phone... and "asking them out". Now that I
understand this particular "moment in time" better, and now that I
understand more of the "dynamics" of what's going on, I get MUCH better
results personally...
In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore when calling women, and I rarely
if EVER have a woman "flake out" on me. Now, in this newsletter I've
shared a few points to help you get better results in this particular
area. Use them. They'll definitely help you.
You should read this article right before you call every one of the next
10 women you meet... in fact. But as you can probably tell, this is just
one of MANY important facets of success with women. In fact, this is
just scratching the surface of the skills you'll need if you want to
have CONSISTENT success with the most DESIRABLE women.
When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or "tests" from women,
you will no longer need to get nervous or upset, because you'll know
what TO DO about it... and when you actually DO the right thing you'll
see that problem disappear. The point that I'm trying to make is that
this education will not only teach you techniques for meeting women, it
will also give you a new POWER that you never had before.
And if you'd like an introduction to my main concepts and techniques,
then you need to start with my eBook, Double Your Dating. It's the
foundation for everything that I teach in these newsletters, and it's a
MUST-read. It's here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
Your Friend,
David D.
The ebook, and the three bonus reports that come with it will teach you
all of the basics for how to overcome your fears of approaching women, and
how to take things from one step to another...all the way to the bedroom.
There's only one place in the world I know of that you can learn all of
this information quickly, easily, and thoroughly... The 'Double Your
dating' e-book: This book and the three bonuses that come with it are the
FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles
will make more sense once you have read the book:
Read
More About The E-Book Just Click Here. Or:
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